


A City with No Chiss

by Marta_Ayanami



Category: 07-Ghost, CLAMP - Works, Chobits, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, xxxHoLic
Genre: AU fusion crossover sorry, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR LISTED CANONS IN AU WAYS, Other, a crossover fusion weird thing I guess, but not all events in order, chapter will be out in March, most events in chronological order, some flashforwards and flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2018-11-04 09:26:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10988073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marta_Ayanami/pseuds/Marta_Ayanami
Summary: Eli is a bank accountant and a proud owner of two Laptops he's really rather fond of, if he were to be honest. Kotoko's a good girl, if grumpy (that's her 'personality', not his fault) and Burupya's great, too. But, speaking of his job, he’s brilliant at it, if he can say so himself. Although he rarely has a chance to brag about something like that. His friends consider his work tedious. That's their loss, in Eli's opinion. In his spare time, he loves cracking codes and passwords of all kinds. He wouldn’t call himself a hacker, as he’s never done anything really illegal. So no hacking here.However, when luck has it he finds a good Persocom on a garbage dump, he’s not going to just leave it there. After thinking it through, for a few hours. After all, the blue guything doesn't seem too suspicious. And if only he could be a laptop!Blue skin... Somebody painted their Persocom blue so they'd look like a legendary Persocom, huh? That happened sometimes.The Chiss are only an urban legend, aren't they? So now Eli just has a new computer, and possibly he/it is slightly younger than Kotoko and Burupya. And it is free. Quite a gift! From long-owed accidental luck or whatever. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. Prologue: First Entry Added: OWNER, Second: WAIT

Prologue

"One last time, while you still are yourself. I'll leave the disc with your memories there as well, but that's no guarantee it'll be installed. By the new 'you' or any possible new owner. However... are you certain we should go through with this plan?"

"I'm positive, Mi--."

"I'm not."

"Are you changing _your_ decision?"

"No, but that doesn't mean you have to keep me inside you."

"And so, I am not currently changing mine. Where else would you plan to go?"

"Nowhere."

"My point's proven, then."

"Not _quite."_

 

-

REST OF THE DATA: NOT FOUND. VOICES: CORRUPTED. n TRANSlation: V. InEXACT. TRANS-FAIL. LG: LOCKEDEncRyPTED. &**CANNOT DECIPHER CONVERSTATION MEMBERS. REST OF THE DATA: NOT FOUND> CANNOT DECIPHER___

_____

"Not only does he lack dictionary, now this?! Blue-Chiss, what the hell?!"

 

_________________________________________________

 

They said nothing of interest could be find on garbage dumps, but Boba Fett's long discovered that wasn't exactly true. Especially since the place wasn't accidental, and the item wasn't a garbage.

No, the Persocom, the Chiss model, called something weird, but apparently 'Thrawn' in short, definitely wasn't a piece of garbage if everything the other Chiss Persocoms he's met said was true.

Now this disc... he could take it with himself. Taking the disc, which supposedly had something to do with the legendary 'Ascendency'... that he could do, quickly. Meanwhile, the Chiss... if he really was one... he'd come back for him in an hour.

Nobody would try to take him from here, surely, but some drunkards or druggies. And so, he'd get him, as was part of the deal.

 

______________

Today, Eli was late for work. Mr Palpatine would kill him, he was sure. Well, not literally, not even the so called (by some bored bank workers) Mr-Emperor-SlaveWorker-Guys-He'sSecretlyaPersocom-SwhyhefeelsNOTHING-Palpatine wouldn't kill him, nope. But. He could fire his ass. A hick's ass was always easy to fire. He had to change jobs three times already, and Eli loved this bank! He just didn't love the boss, no sir. But that aside!!

Dammit!! He'd have to use his _favourite_ (no, no sarcasm there, sirree!) shortcut. A cow dung of short cut! Through the city's smelliest garbage.

 

And so, he was now making his way through it, fingers on his nose. So gross!!! Cows may have used perfumes, in comparison.

And then he hit his food on--- somebody's head?!

"I---I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!!!"

An unconsious body... a dead man?? Naked?! So murdered and robbed of everything, even pants, or what?! With a strangely blue skin, so maybe poisoned?! Now someone would accuse Vanto of murder!!! He was going to go to jail, wasn't he? He had no proof of his own innocence and now he'd try to help this guy, because he might still be alive, and he probably wouldn't be, and so, Eli's fingerprints would be on the man, and... he was doomed, wasn't he? Maybe he should just... go... and pretend he saw nothing. It's not like he killed anyone! So what if he didn't try to help now... even so... dammit, what a cow dung of--

"SORRY? WORD?? NO---DATA___FOUND>"

The red eyes opened slowly, shining strangely.

Ah, Eli thought, with a surge or relief that later he'd consider the greatest irony of all times. Ah, this is just a junk Perscom that somebody's gotten rid of, not a dead body. Thank all the field and sea gods from old wives' tales I don't believe in. And thank the Chiss, or whatever. Hah, this computer guy looks a bit like a legendary Chiss. Good joke some manufacturer's pulled. Or maybe the blue guy's owner. Eli's seen that many times, both offline and online. Guys painting their Persocoms (invariably, the most sexy ones) in blue and posting the photos for the five minutes of Net fame. Pathetic.

Would those men and women paint their dogs, or cats, or dragons blue as well? And Persocoms had as many rights as cats. If not more. It's not that he considered all of them to be people, he was no longer that naive--

( _Eli, don't be rude. She's your older sis._

_No. She's not! She's not even warm!_

_Son, shut up! She's your older sister!_

_Ouch!_

_Apologise to your older sister!_

_She... she looks younger than me! I can call her younger sis, if I really must!! And she's not even... she can't even like me, so I won't l-ouch!_

_Apologise!_

_She's not---she's not.. I'm and ya all're people, she's not... she's not people!! I hate her!!)_

No, they shouldn't be seen as people. But they should have at least as much dignity as pets. Not-- not be thrown out, naked, shut off, like, like a  _thing_ , like a scrap of metal without any (artificial, yes) personality installed!

"Heh. Sorry? Apologies? Gomenasai? Entshuldigung? I, Eli Vanto, sincerely apologise? I don't know your dictionary, which you've got installed, bro. I don't know what language you operate in, pal. Well, if I was your owner, I'd fix ya instead of leaving you here. Cause owner's a guy or gal who cares. Cares enough, or cares too much sometimes, much too much. So much it's damn painful, sometimes. Not that yours would know that, apparently. That's owner. Yeah, that's owner... you've got lots of bad luck with yours, if yours would like to scrap you. Anyway!! 'm already late for work!! See ya if I get back the same way, though that would only happen if I'm drunk!! I've already got Burupya and Kotoko, and you... if you could function, ya wouldn't be here. Would you?"

"NEW DATA. ENTRY ADDED: Owner."

"What? Ah, nevermind, see ya!!"

"Seeya__Owner___Eli__Vanto??"

"Sure, sure.Oh, right, you've got some stuff missing in your dictionary, you probably don't even understand "sure". So, let's say, to your Q, well, command: Y. Yeah. Y. Ya're really broken, heh."

And with that, Eli Vanto ran off to work, not wanting to risk boss Palpatine's ire.

"SEEYA> OWNER___ELI___VANTO."

And with that, the blue-skinned Persocom slowly stood up and followed, without any hurry, Owner Eli Vanto's steps, exactly. He didn't need to see him or hear him to do that. Humans were fond of leaving all kinds of traces.

He didn't remember any word for 'meet', but the blue-skinned Persocom had a feeling he was supposed to meet his owner, if his owner was his owner. An instict, perhaps, or some left-over knowledge.

"Are you certain you want that youngster to be our new owner?"

"?? WORDS> DATA__NOT__FOUND."

"That's right, I'll talk to you when you can understand me. So... Well, have it your way. OWNER_ELI_VANTO. FOLLOW? Y/N."

"Y. OWNER__SEEYA."

"You're going to learn some bad language, brother. What's "seeya", anyway?"

"Seeya_owner_Vanto. You____... who? NAME? IDENTITY?"

"CLASSIFIED."

He nodded.

"Classified. NO_QUESTION_NOW?"

"Y."

"Y... FOLLOW__OWNER__Y?"

"Y, if you're sure...Ah, right, you don't even understand many words right this second, brother. Only 30 we've decided must be to function, ya know. And I'm even filtering than through an imperfect translation into that human's, Eli Vanto's, language and dialect somewhat, but that ain't helping much anyway. It'll help talking to ya, though, when you spend more time with him. Coz I see ya've already decided, brother. Or when you spend time with anybody else, myself included. Or just overhear other Persocoms and Chiss Persocoms and humans talk. You'll learn more quickly, as ya always do. And no, 'm not calling you bro, Thraw--I mean--brother."

"Brother? MEANING?"

"N. Not now. Ask... whoever you choose as our Owner? I mean, 'm gonna go with your choice, why in all opium fields not. (Wait, opium fields?? That's really how people from his town say that? And why've I checked already, am I really sure he's already set his mind on him? Apparently so. Now 'm confused.)"

"Y. NOTE: ASK_OWNER_ELI_VANTO. Y."

After the conversation with CLASSIFIED person, whose identity he no longer let himself wonder about since it was classified, and 'classified' was one of thirty words which remained unlocked in his memory... though he didn't even put his thoughts into such words, as his dictionary was currently words other than the thirty, the blue-skinned Persocom found the building in which OWNER ELI VANTO currently was located.

"B-A-N-K. P-A-L-P-A-T-I-N-E_ I-M-P-E-R-I-A-L I-N-D-U-S-T-R-Y" he's read with some trouble, as most of his software was currently tightly locked. MEANING? He wondered. CLASSIFIED hasn't answered, though, so apparently it wasn't 'necessary' to know now. At least that was a wordless impression in the blue-skinned Perscom's mind right now.

If he was to put into words what he wanted to do right now, it would be this: "follow Owner Eli Vanto". If he was asked why, he'd lack the words to state the reason why. 

And so, even his brother, deep inside him, couldn't yet quite guess the reason and was curious himself. It was convenient that the stranger, human Eli Vanto, apparently worked for the human businessman Sheev Palpatine, but Thrawn remembered nothing, so if that was not the reason, than what? Eli Vanto? He wasn't supposed to be their new owner.

Apparently now he was. Forced amnesia or not, Mitth'ras'safis was going to trust Mitth'raw'nuruodo on this.

("That's not his name anymore. With how simple that Eli Vanto person seems, it may soon be 'John' or 'Bob' for all I might predict. Owner Eli Vanto.

Well, let's see what happens, then. If that was truly to be the case. I doubt this young human called Eli Vanto can be our Owner for longer than two days... And. It looked like a derailment of plans, but...with Mitth'raw'nuruodo, even amnesiac, who could be certain if something that was a derailmnet wouldn't end up being a saving throw. With brother...)

"Owner___Location___Found."

"Mhm, why don't ya just wait for him for now?"

"'Wait'. Meaning?"

"Nevermind, brother. I must get used to this."

He really should, he knew. So he sent, to one of his brother's hard drives, the smallest one, the one that his brother was currently free to use however he wanted, in other words, the only one that would show when scanned by the Perscoms avaiable in this city, unless some Persocom or some human was moderately skilled, which few here were (maybe Boba Fett or Palpatine or the Skywalkers) a few short movies explaining the concept wordlessly. Ones that would explain the concept of waiting even to a three-year-old child.

Mitth'raw'nuruodo - or whatever his brother's name was going to be, soon - nodded.

The blue-skinned Chiss understood perfectly, or at least of that the blue-skinned Chiss was sure. And so, the next seven hours, he sat unmoving on a sidewalk near the bank's entrance. A passerby or two stopped and touched him with some plastic cards, and made some COMMANDS that he didn't have a response to, and then made noises with their words when nothing happened, but then continued on, leaving him be. Meanwhile, he could sense that the other not-him, Classified, didn't RESPOND, because he was, for the last few hours, currently IN HIBERNATION STATE. Why? He didn't even have enough words to truly ask Classified that question, or know that he wanted to ask. (And the amnesiac Persocom did want to talk to the one in him beside him, to 'Classified', he did want to, but with no right words, he couldn't translate that suddenly urgent, more and more, for an unknown to him reason, need, to words yet, or even to zeros and ones, even to some basic language like Fyulong, that he could learn quickly, and so, he couldn't process it yet, that need.))

Not now.


	2. Interlude 0: Second New Dictionary Entry Added: Wait

_Memory_loss_detected. Processor_Available. Processor: Fully Active. No Errors. Fully_OPERATIONAL > CHECK>> Disc F_Available. Disc A_Not Available. _

_Disc B_Not Available._

_Disc C_Not Available._

_Disc D_Not Available._

_Disc E_Not Authorised._

_Antivirus scan_No Antivirus_Detected._

_Memory_loss_reason_Y/N?_

_Reason_Classified?_

_Y/N....../_

_/._

_First Entry Added. Classified? N. First Entry: Owner._

_Owner. Eli_Vanto_I_Owner? Y/N?_

_Y._

_Reason?_

_Y._

_Second entry added: Wait._

_Wait_now_Owner_Eli_Vanto? Y/N?_

_Y/N? Classified?_

_Classified_/_Hibernation_State_

_................._

_Reason?_

_/_

_I_damnedcashmashine? Y/N?_

_/_

_/_

_N._

_I_Wait_Owner Eli Vanto_for now._

_Dammit. Reason?_

_/ /_

_Reason_Owner Eli Vanto_Added_First Entry. Reason. Y. / Classiefied_Add_Second Entry. Y. /_

_/ = Perhaps. Meaning_Detected_Not Mine Dictionary_Disc E._

_Of_Classified_Dictionary?_

_Perhaps._

_Identify_Error_Later._

_Now._

_I_Wait. Wait_Location_Bank_Door. Movies_sent_ <_Classified_help_identify_reason_I_Wait. Y. Perhaps._

 

_Apparently I_'yndesent'. Meaning? NOTE: ASK._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> To be continued in Chapter 1, working title "So Many Dictionary Entries Already? Wow, the Blue Comp's Good, even if He Was Scrapped!". On 3rd or 10th June, most likely.  
> When it's going to be revealed whether a certain blue skinned amnesiac Persocom's new name will be Bob, or Henry, or Blue, or John. ;) And where he'll have a bedgrudging teacher in the art of talking. Even though said teacher thinks a bank accountant shouldn't have to be a teacher of some weird stray computer who's just followed him home like a hungry kitten. (Puppies don't usually follow Eli, because they could tell he didn't like them that much.)
> 
> See you!
> 
> A/N nr 2 (edited): A/N (edited): TBC in Chapter 1: Right after I finish reading "Outbound Flight" (read 11 chapters in 3 busy workdays so far, will be faster rn) and have a moment to write. Because they may or may not be a sentence or a half from Blue-Chiss's brother in ch.1 or 2 or 5, which I'm writing concurrently, so I need to finish reading OF first. XD And, well, also, I'm hooked. And am starting to AU ship Maris Ferasi with Eli Vanto. Maybe someday I may even ship Maris with Thrawn, but if so, that's just my own problem. XD (Because so far, unfortunately, she admires him TOO much for this to work... :( ) Sorry if anyone's reading this ficlet this month, sorry I'm taking so long, even though this, up there with Hic sunt dracones and with Under Cherry Blossoms, is what I'm writing this month. I even locked my various Tales of... and Sailor Moon plotbunnies in cages for now, so I think I'm learning how not to start too much at once!


	3. Chapter 1: Alive with the Whirr of Printing

 

**The Hacker**

A scene he saw, upon half- waking up, could be considered idyllic and soothing by many.

His new roommate, chattering with the baby dragon, learning its very basic and logical language much faster than he has been learning Basiglish. Both of them chatting calmly, getting to know each other. Mainly the Fyulong, as it would be hard to get to know an amnesiac piece of junk, no matter how modern, fast, large, quick-learning and handsome he was. No matter how great and unhackable the blue not-Chiss was.

In short, the scene before his eyes was enough to frustrate a saint, and, as far as Eli knew, no Jedi Master would ever wake up and think „gee, the next person to canonise should definitely be that average Vanto fellow.”

Eli sighed, took a deep breath, sat up in his armchair and said, experimentally, quietly:

„Prrrruiìîîïī brrrtttttuiiiii, bbbyyyiirrrr bbb?”

„PPiiiiii puuuu bbiiiii piii, Eli, piii, Eli, piii!!!” Burupya answered excitedly, jumping up and down. Well, down from the bed, and then up on that blue certainly not chiss' lap. It was sort of exasperating, Vanto thought, but since Blue-Chiss had almost nothing inside him, no wonder he looked completely indifferent to the noisy little dragon's behaviour. No smile, no frown - yup, complete indifference.

„Ppiiiiyuuuiii puuurrryui ppppp kk iiiii byuuuuiiiiiii biiii bbbbb bbbb ppp yyyyuuuii, a puyi buryu piiiii pii, Eli-piiibbiiyuu uuaa, pppaa yuu, byyyy ppiiiiiiii,” Blue-Chiss (what, he couldnt forever be ‘you freak of idk’, so Vanto took to calling him Weirdly Blue NonChiss, Blue-Chiss for short”) said in a greeting and Eli, for the first time in fivteen years, laughed. Not smiled, not snickered, but honestly deeply laughed, from the bottom of his heart. Anybody would, had they heard the weirdest mixture of formal and informal language that Blue-Chiss, in his childish ignorance, tried using just now.

The doorbell rang and Kotoko opened the door, as usually at this hour Eli would have been still asleep.

She calmly asked for password before opening the door. The guy knew it, and, even half-asleep and dead tired, Eli could hear that the guy was a guy, not a gal. He groaned quietly, because this, as sure as acow dung meant the shitting animal was the cow, meant… yeah, that sure made the guy who’s just come in one person and one person only: Vos, a Jedi (irrelevant, at dawn) and worst best friend (sadly relevant, even when metaphorically naked and on fire. Metaphorically so.) Eli quckly sat up, mumbled hi, threw off his clothes, would have cursed if his parents didn’t beat that out of him and then… Vos, there was Vos to deal with. A part of Eli’s brain knew why Vos was here an this ungodly hour, knew pretty well which fuc–cow dung of a forum thread (or threads, so many threads tonight) Vos must’ve listened to. Oh, nooooo…. Argh.

“Goodnight,’ Eli greeted, pointedly.

“Good morning, buddy!” Vos shouted cheerfully.

“Good—morning/night.—-of—my—OwnerEliVanto—-buddy—-,” Blue-Chiss, suddenly right behind Vanto, greeted, matter-of factly.

“Pyyaa!” 

The last exclamation, the most awake and warm of them all, came, naturally, from a small and furry pink laptop. At least now Vos couldn’t say he was unwelcome, now could he, Eli thought, half-smiling.

"Hey! The infamous blue guy!" Vos greeted, as rudely as always. If Blue-Chiss' brain hasn't been deleted by some vandal, Eli would feel second-hand embarassment right about now.

"He's not a guy, Vos, he's a  _bona fide_ empty calculator who somehow moves and talks and walks, even though his insides have been, as far as I can see, thrown out. So, show _hi_ iiit some respect, please."

"Respect--meaning?" said empty calculator questioned in that unnervingly quiet voice of his. Though it was probably only a little bit quieter than Kotoko, so, what was it again that was so unsettling about this voice of h--it, Eli had no idea.

 _It. It. It. It, or I will go as mad as her, _Eli thought, the last vestiges of sleep leaving him as quickly as the best hackers, infamous Falcon included, left the Bank of Tatooine. Meanwhile, Vos sat on the computer desk, no doubt feeling quite at home here, as always.

"Half the internet thinks you now a jokester, the other half a fraud, man," his best friend addes, ever so helpfully.

"As if I didn't know that."

"So, what now? Hey, that's heavy, and Eli's said you remember nothing, so, careful there!"

Eli turned the second he's realised Vos wasn't talking to him now, but to Blue. Blue was... what was he doing with that heavy dictionary? Stupid machine, it's not like he could it anyway! All his memory was gone,  _gone_ gone, gone with the wind, Eli knew, he's checked it quickly last night wiht his palmtop! And one does not just read without one's memory! Oh, well, the letters will just be some meaningless squiggles to that stupid junk, let him do as he pleases!

Eli couldn't take it anymore, it was already too much, he's never asked for this. And so, he's left the room, quite tempted to slam the door beside himself. Unfortunately, he didn't, and so, the stupid Jedi's followed him immediately.

 

**The Voice of Reason**

She sighed and frowned, seeing Burupya lick the stranger's fingers like there was no tomorrow.

"I apologise for him, Blue-Chiss," she murmured. 

The stranger, however, was still busy reading the paper dictionary. However, he couldn't be. That was impossible. Ah, yes, he had to be pretending. Quite a good actor, he was, but wouldn't that bore him quickly?

" _When_ you decide to leave your pride behind, I can transmit all the meanings in this book straight into your brain. You don't know that, since you have no memories, but I can," she added,  _too_ helpfully. She should just let this ingrate be.

"Kotoko---N", none---need," the red-eyed ingrate replied.

She frowned.

"I've heard you chat the dragon's ear away. If Basiglish is still in your memory, you can use it when talking to me."

For a moment, the red-eyed ingrate was staring at her, as if he was a customer taking stock of her. What a rubbish! He wasn't even  _homo sapiens._ He could never buy her, no laws in any country made such a thing legitimate.

"Biiieeee prrrruuuu bub bub piiii," he said, after a while.

"Buru thiii Chiiii Bu Biii pupa!", she answered indignantly.

Blue-Chiss raised an eyebrow. 

"Biii piiiiiikkkk?", he dared to ask.

"Puuuuuuu."

After replying like that, maybe slightly too rudely, she reflected, but still... she turned away.

And suddenly, she turned off--- no, she was forcibly turned off, and the last thing she saw, were red eyes, but not these red eyes, however, the similarity---

"Buuuuu!!!," Burupya screamed, running towards her first, then towards Blue-Chiss, and then biting his ear, hard, and then---

 

**The Hacker**

"Now, listen, what's the big idea?"

Vos looked a second away from whistling or the like. Eli wanted to punch him, but then again, he was probably already over his punching quota with Quinlan.

"You mean talking to your Comp when he remembers nothing?"

"Exactly!" Only Vos could read in his thoughts like that and not creep Eli out, only Vos.

"And how else are we supposed to find out  _who he is,_ the blue guy you've adopted, without talking to him? I've listened to your threads, on many foras, even on Twuuter. Nothing."

"Jokes and farces."

"Exactly, nothing."

Eli Vanto sighed. Quinlan did have a point, shockingly, but what was the point of talking to an empty machine? Eli's already tried installing the system on Blue-Chiss, to no avail. If even that much couldn't be done... surely there was some virus involved. And Eli would find it. Till then, there was no point in talking.

No point at all, no matter how unsettling these red eyes were. How they gave him the creeps.

No point at all.

Suddenly, he heard a printing sound coming from his room. He opened the door and ran inside, quickly followed by Vos, as fast as humanly possible. Kotoko wasn't authorised to print anything without his permission, and neither was Burupya. Somebody's broken into his house--that was the only rational explanation!

However, the intruder has already gone. Dammit. There was only his Persocoms around, including the Blue, his ears open, Burupya gnawing on them senselessly. The intrudes has plugged the cables into Eli's three printers. Vos kneeled down to pick up three printed sheets of paper. He quickly showed them to Vanto.

On all of them, the photograph of the same weird painting. What kind of a virus was that? It reminded Eli of errtyooope3-jan-345, he had to look into that, it could be a new version.

Dammit. Of course the Persocom he's picked from the rubbish heap was full of viruses, big surprise there.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Update this Saturday, most likely. (13th January)


End file.
